Song Encouragement

Here's a playlist of encouragement for ya, fellow single!  Hope it blesses you, too!

Love,

-Bess-

P.S.: What songs help you in this season?

Bess in the Singular {+ Misadventures in Online Dating}

It's no surprise around here, I'm single. I mean really, really single. I mean - oh, yeah, I guess you get the point. I've pretty much always been solo in the world's eyes, but God's always with me so I'm never really alone - really. 

 I remember the 1st time this guy {9-10 years my senior & not a Christian} whispered in my ear that he "wanted to be my boyfriend," & I gave my timeless answer of "get in line" - to which, he responded, "I was here first," which gave me a cringing creepy feeling of being viewed as real estate or the prime spot in a McDonald's drive thru line {or something}. Needless to say, I remained in my single status, despite his, um, boyfriend declaration. 

 This past February {several years after the above atheistic fellow (Why do I seem to attract the Charles Darwin type?)}, snow days hit hard & I found myself going stir crazy. In said craziness, I did something I had said I would never do: I signed up for a free trial on a Christian dating website {I blame the deadly combination of cabin fever paired with the swift approach of Feb. 14th}. {NOTE: It's not that I think anything's wrong with online dating, per-say; in fact, I've seen some great godly married couples {& sweet bouncing babies} come out of it - I just didn't think it was for me.} Meanwhile back at the ranch {apt.}, a guy who lived about an hour away started e-mailing me through this dating site thingamajig. Before I knew it {within days/before I returned to work from my snow days}, he proposed that we meet! Say what!? Okay, so it made me a crazy nervous lunatic as I prayed he wasn't one & questioned why I had agreed to such a thing! The "date" was set for the day after Valentine's. He would drive down & meet me at a coffee shop. He even offered that I bring a friend, if that would make me more comfortable. I opted to come on my own, but I had done my Nancy-Drew-like detective work beforehand {Googled him & found his Facebook profile} & alerted some folks of my planned whereabouts for the day & this guy's name. Plus, the cup-o'-overpriced-Joe rendezvous place was not only tiny, but always bustling {&, above all, this girl had her God with her every shaky step}. 

 So, somehow, on Feb. 15th {my blogoversary, actually} I got all dolled up & forced myself to get in the car & drive... oh, & to not veer off the bridge into the water. {Did I mention, I was a nervous butterfly-infested fraidy girl?} To make a long story short-er, it was uber awkward at the start {&, really, most of the way through}. After minimal conversation in the coffee shop {where it felt like amused eyes were watching as they sipped their lattes at tables nearby}, I suggest we head to a nearby park. We drive separately & meet back up to walk around the paths. More awkward-ness, but I {at least} begin to feel better now that there's room to breathe & talk freely {without overly caffeinated prying eyes & ears}. He was definitely a nice guy, but I didn't feel like he was the one for me. I threw out what I thought were funny jokes that only seemed to scare the poor fellow - I guess he didn't appreciate me saying that the guy with the tinted windows who circled the parking lot twice as we stood by our cars talking, was an ex-marine sharp-shooter whom I hired for the afternoon. I thought it was pretty funny. And, no I didn't {hire anyone, that is - they did it for free (just kidding - mere handy coincidence)}. I, in turn, didn't laugh when he pointed out a bit of leafy green in an otherwise bare tree. He asked, completely innocently, as we walked under it what it was. Was he kidding? He sounded sincere. I managed something to the effect of, "You know what that is. It's mistletoe." I then proceed to say, "Just pretend you never saw it," all mock-serious like. Not even a hint of a smile on his part. La te da! 

 I've had several misadventures in my day {& more to come, I'm sure}, but I've learned that this life is not to be put on hold until everything falls into place {I don't believe it ever really does, for that matter, this side of heaven}. Life does not begin after "I do." It has already begun & time is precious, sister! The world will tell you {sadly, some well meaning church sisters & brothers (& family) may express this, too (forgive em, they're just fellow human imperfection)} that you're an outsider, a paranormal freak show, you name it because of your relationship status & the fact that you're not clamoring after guys in order to become a plural over a single. I know you've heard it before {but it really is true}, God's got this whole thing already figured out. Stop fretting {easier said than done, I know, so try real hard}. He's good & knows what you need & the desires of your heart. In the end {& in the beginning, too} only He can fully satisfy your soul. Jesus is your completer, not some lovely, but fully flawed male creation. Just saying. Go, live your life, take the trips, write the books, plant the gardens, start the businesses, go on the mission trips, jump off the high dives, try, fail, & get up again, fall in love with Your completer & redeemer. Your life is already ticking, don't wait for a lover of your soul to come around - He already has & His name is Jesus. If God brings a guy into your life as you're out there imperfectly living it for Him, it'll be an unexpected blessing. If He doesn't {& either way}, He will be enough. There will be harder days when it doesn't seem fair & loneliness hangs heavy, but even then He is enough. Keep on going, single sister. There is adventure & love to be had in Christ. 

 So, I live this singular life, hoping/praying every once in a while, that a guy lurks {okay, hopefully not lurks} out there somewhere who will send me flowers & call me beautiful & hold my hand & heart & adventure this journey with me & who loves God first & me second. Only God knows who, when, where, how, & if. Come what may, I'm living, cause Christ is enough! 

 Love in the Singular, 
-Bess-

P.S.: This was originally posted on Bess' Bag {my main blog}.

“[Not] Officially An Old Maid”

There’s an early episode of the Mary Tyler Moore show, where Mary’s best friend Rhoda exclaims, “When I turned 21 & still wasn’t married my mother officially declared me an old maid. I think she had it notarized.” Sure, we can laugh at the outlandishness of this line in a retro sitcom, but in reality there is truth to the fact that age & singleness carries with it a bitter stigma, whether it’s by the world, our families, or even just ourselves as we feel our inner clock’s loud ticking {& all but forget about God’s mysterious perfect timing, I might add}. The more candles on the cake, the more it can feel like your single status is the ailment without a cure. Now, 21 is certainly not an age that should be worried about its marital status, because if there’s any truth to Rhoda’s quip then I must really be an old maid/decrepit spinster girl {cause I’m well past 21}. 

 Recently, in my own life, I had a true blue moment of my own that made me feel rather {okay, a lot} old maidish… I attended the wedding of my nephew. Yes, it’s true we’re only 4 years apart, which is closer in age than to either of my sisters {his mother is more than 10 years my senior}. But still, he is my nephew. It seems like there should be an order to the universe that lets the maiden aunt walk down the aisle before her nephew, but you know what? It’s not been in God’s plan for this aunt, & I’m truly opening my heart to the truth that His will – which encompasses all that He sees & knows {which is everything} – really is in my best interest. I can let go of my sinful selfishness & trust that Christ is my loving, fully satisfying, first love & all knowing Father that’s got it under control. It’s been a process & I definitely had to banish {& take captive (2 Corinthians 10:5)} some self-pitying thoughts along the way, but I can truly say that I fully enjoyed the beautiful wedding celebration of my nephew & his bride.

 Me, an old maid? I think not! I’m a daughter & servant of the King; a part of the bride of Christ! 

Love, 
-Bess-

“Dating In Your Mind”

I stumbled upon the Revive Our Hearts website the other day & began to listen to past radio programs on singleness in particular.  It’s been a huge blessing to just lounge on my couch & listen to godly women speak Truth after a long day at work.  I encourage you to check out the site {click here} & join me in being uplifted…

The very first program I listened to online was “Do You Trust God to Satisfy?  Practical Counsel on Singleness” with Carolyn McCulley.  There’s much encouragement in the entire 24 minutes of the program, but about 14 minutes in Carolyn spoke about a new {to me} phrase, “dating in your mind.”  Click here & go about 14 minutes into the program to hear about it.  Then, come back & you’ll find my reaction below…     

I had not heard the term before, but the definition, well it was the spitting image of my life sooo many times.  Yep, I had been dating in my mind & I was convicted.  Who was I to think that I had it all figured out?  It sounds crazy now, but how did I think I knew that this random guy {in my case, guys, plural – you’d think I’d learn after awhile} was the one – God’s will for me – when the fellow had made no attempt to pursue, even?  I had definitely taken a running flailing leap before the Lord’s perfect timing.  It’s ridiculous looking back & hearing Carolyn McCulley’s afresh word on it, but I had been there again & again.  I’d dissect every glance, nod, word – was that a wink or hay fever!?  I’d look forward to Sundays for all the wrong reasons.  I’d misplaced my God on His throne, for a clueless mortal male.  I had taken the reigns, which remained tied to the hitching post, & tried to go for a ride.  I didn’t gain any distance & I had sinned in the process.  Major conviction was mine.  Have you ever gone “dating in your mind”?

Dear Father,

I confess that I have gone “dating in my mind” so many times.  I have gone ahead of You & let my own feelings & agenda be apart from Your will in my life.  Please forgive me of this sin & guard my heart & mind against it in the future.  I want to trust in You to satisfy & to provide all that I need.  Thank You for the grace You have showered upon me through Your Son, Jesus.  "Create in me a clean & pure heart & renew a steadfast spirit within me."  May Your will reign in my life.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Love,

-Bess-

image via reviveourhearts.com 

Moriah Peters {I Am Second}

She saved her first kiss for her wedding day.  I love Moriah Peters!

Her honesty & her stand encourages me to be boldly & truthfully strong in who God has called me to be, too.  Truth: I've never been kissed.  I always knew I wanted to save my first kiss for someone special {someone who hopefully would be my husband}.  However, Moriah's got me thinking about saving my first kiss for after I'm engaged or possibly for the wedding day {like she did}.  What are your thoughts on the topic?  Are you saving your first kiss?

Love,
-Bess-

Single Girl Chat Videos

Love,
-Bess-

Bridal Blog Party Day 3

Today's the last day of Meghan's blog party!

I clearly remember the day I wrote the letter to my future guy stating I had just had the unfortunate task of smashing a scary bug, & if only he'd been there he could have saved me & done the vanquishing himself.  That wasn't the first time I'd written to him... nope, there was a neat stack of letters - some sealed & I couldn't even remember what I'd wrote (I hope it wasn't too silly now).  
Yes, I've been known to stop by Hallmark near Valentine's Day {or sometimes when I just feel lonely} & meticulously pick out a card for him.  The cashiers must have thought I had some special mate, as I'd scour the little card pockets for well over the standard 3-10 minutes, & the way they'd ask for what seemed like the umpteenth time, "Do you need any help now?"  "No ma'am, I'm just picking out a card for my husband.  What type of man is he, you ask?  Oh, that might help with card selection, you say?  Uh, well, hmmm... I don't really know.  You see, ma'am, I haven't met him yet."  Awkward silence.  Crickets chirp {well, if they had crickets at Hallmark}.  Forced politeness - "No, ma'am, I'm not a mail order bride!"  Okay, so that conversation didn't really go down, but sometimes as the single girl, feeling so solo, you feel like the odd one out.  

Here's one of my carefully =) chosen cards that I plan to give my future husband on or near our wedding day.  It's blank & waiting for the day when I've got an engagement ring on my finger!

Here's my purity ring that reads, "I will remain faithful & true."  This promise is good for our Christian walk, single, & married life!  I've known some couples to exchange purity rings at their weddings.  I think it would be a beautiful token/symbol to give my husband my purity ring on our wedding night. 

A snippet from a letter to my {future} husband:

Dear ________________, {I always leave this blank so I can fill it in with his name later.  I wonder what his name is?  Do you ever wonder what name you will be saying over & over for as many years as God grants - & what your new last name will be?  Sorry, I just went on a ramble!}

I have been praying for you before we ever met.  Loving you, not knowing who you were, but knowing that I loved you still.  Missing you, when I didn't even know your name or the shade of your eyes.  Longing to hear your voice say my name & pray over us, knowing God brought us together & that my name sounds perfect on your lips.  Seeking & serving our first love, God, together...  I can't wait for the day when I am yours & you are mine.

Dreaming,

-Bess-

Cause I Love Jamie Grace {& What She Has to Say}

Love,

-Bess-

Cause We All Need To Laugh

I stumbled upon this video recently... I've searched around, but haven't found much else about this indie-style documentary. I wish I could see it, but for now it gives me a good laugh (Nothing like laughing at yourself, right?) & a bit of encouragement... It lets us "always single" girls know we aren't alone.

There is a secret sisterhood of the dateless, kissless, boyfriendless...  Are you a member, too? =)

Toodles,

-Bess-

Angela’s Arrow: A Valentine’s Tragi-Comedy

“The hearts…they’re back!” Maggie exclaimed in a dramatic tone of angst & terror. “No,” her friend Emma uttered shaking her head in disbelief. “Yes! Just go over two aisles & look at the end cap under the big yellow rollback smile thing!” Maggie pointed, her voice rising to an unhealthy level for the toothpaste/mouthwash section. An elderly gentleman looked up from examining a Listerine bottle label. “It’s not safe to talk here,” Emma whispered, clutching Maggie’s arm & pulling her away. The only sign the girls had been there was the old man scratching his head & Emma’s dropped Crest toothpaste laying abandoned in the middle of the floor. The girls made it out of the store, though Emma had to be nearly pushed after back stepping in fright from the sight of red roses for sale next to the exit door. Once out & in breathable air again Emma exclaimed, “I thought we still had weeks! How did this happen?” Maggie put her arm around her best friend, “Hey, we’ll get through this together, Em.” But even she was having trouble believing her words. 

 ♥ 

It was Valentine’s season yet again in the usually cheery little town of Holmsdale, & once again Emma & Maggie were date-less, kiss-less, heart-less… well, maybe that’s a little harsh. Perhaps it was their tradition of ripping February from their calendars that made the surprise seem like an invasion from martians from the Mars Candy Company. Emma & Maggie could see no joy in February 14th, unless they were being wooed by a fellow, & that had eluded them both like… well, spotting little green dudes in spacesuits at Wal-Mart. They both decided that being happy & single on Valentine’s Day was an urban myth - neither of them dared use the word “old wives’ tale” – that would add injury to insult for heaven’s sake. 

 ♥ 

“Come on, let’s cut through Meyer’s Woods, Mags. It’s shorter,” Emma steered her friend off the sidewalk as they made their way home from their terrifying {& fruitless} shopping excursion. “Yeah, the sooner we get to your house, the sooner we can make out our list of possible dates,” Maggie declared. “I hate to say it, but it’s pretty slim pickings this year,” Emma replied. “Isn’t it always,” Maggie sighed as they headed into the dark forest. 

They had traveled silently for several minutes under the shady canopy of pines & oaks when Emma broke the silence, “This is kinda spooky, don’t you think, Mags?” “But not as spooky as the store,” Maggie answered with a half hearted smile. Suddenly an arrow buzzed through the air, piercing a tree inches from them! A female voice cried out, “Sorry about that!” Emma clutched Maggie’s arm for the second time that day as the voice emerged from behind some bushes a few feet ahead of them. It was an elderly lady, mid-sixties Maggie thought, wearing camo & a red sweatband on her curly gray head with a bow in hand & arrow tips sticking out of a long skinny satchel on her back. As she approached, Emma stammered under her breath, “Y-Yo-You don’t suppose she’s the Cupid Killer I read about on the Internet, do you?” Maggie shook her head, “Wasn’t that reported on another continent, Em,” Maggie whispered. “Hello, airplanes!” Emma declared as if they were a new fangled invention. 

 The lady came & stood beside them, “Oh dear, I thought you were deer, dearies!” Maggie, ever the braver of the two, spoke up, “Ah, I’ve never seen deer in these woods.” “That makes two of us. Perhaps we just don’t know where to look,” the woman said cheerily. “I’m Angela. What brings you two to the woods today?” Emma was still holding onto Maggie’s extremity like it was her last hope, so Maggie replied quickly, “Nothing. Just taking a shortcut home.” “Oh, I see. I guess you girls are probably getting excited about the 14th – St. Valentine’s Day & all.” Emma & Maggie exchanged a knowing glance & they could tell this Angela-archery-lady noticed. “Oh, well, it’s just another day on the calendar,” Angela responded to their unspoken lack of enthusiasm. Emma surprisingly released her grip, which had been digging into her friend’s arm, & broke her silence, “We don’t observe that month on our calendar.” Angela looked taken aback, as anyone would, archer or not, “Huh, you don’t say! Never heard that one before. Is it against your beliefs or something? Never heard of anyone being against February or love – that’s what makes the world go round, dearies, love that is. It’s the best gift the Maker gave to us after all.” “Maker?” Emma questioned. “Yes, you know, Maker - God,” Angela replied. “Oh,” Maggie said, “We haven’t talked much about him since fifth grade & the last summer we went to VBS.” Emma, warming to the chatter, added, “We’ve talked a lot about the F-month, though.” “F-month,” Angela replied slightly startled, “Oh yes, the one you don’t observe.” Emma shook her head up & down, “Yes, we’ve never experienced love on the F-month,” she whispered. “No love at all, huh? Doesn’t seem logical,” Angela sputtered, trying unsuccessfully to pry her arrow out of the heart of the tree. “What do you mean by “logical”?” Maggie questioned, tugging on the arrow while Angela took a break & readjusted her headband. “You know, makes sense? Every human being is loved all the time by the Maker, no matter if it’s the F-month or not,” Angela said motioning for Maggie to stop trying. She stood up & rubbed her hands together ready to give another whirl at her stuck arrow. “The Maker showed us the greatest love in giving up the most special gift He had,” Angela uttered, stumbling back in victory with the arrow in her hand, “Seems to me most humans are hunting for something & you girls have been hunting for love in all the wrong places.” “Uh, Angela, were you really hunting for deer just now?” Maggie asked curiously. “Well, no not really,” Angela admitted fingering her bow, “I was just practicing in case the love cherub needs extra help; this is the busy season. You never know when the Maker will put you on a different assignment. Check out Jesus’ love, dearies. You might just find an extra month on your calendar,” Angela winked at the girls. Emma & Maggie glanced at each other again & then, when they turned back to say something else to Angela, she was gone. The only trace of her presence was the slightly crumpled arrow. “Okay, so she wasn’t the Cupid Killer after all,” Emma said with a bewildered shrug, “But who was she?” “I don’t really know, Em. Let’s go,” Maggie said, “We’ve got something better than making lists to do.” 

 This Valentine’s Day do you find yourself, like Maggie & Emma, dreading the day because you are without an admirer, date, boyfriend, significant other… take your pick? Learn a little something from old archery Angela, God’s love is deeper, purer, stronger than any mortal man’s. He knows your feelings & your heart so completely. He understands your desires, dreams, disappointments, hurt, & pain, too. Bask in the love of Jesus this Valentine’s Day! If you don’t fully know His love because you don’t know Him as your Savior yet, crack open your Bible {John’s a good book to start in} & start visiting a Bible preaching church. Let Jesus be your Savior & Prince. His love really is the best! Happy February 14th, dearie! =)

Crushing

I had waited months for this day. I carefully chose an outfit – something that didn’t look like I was trying too hard, but cute, stylish, & modest at the same time. I wasn’t sure if this was even the day he would be returning from summer break. When I entered Sunday school he wasn’t there. A few minutes passed & he entered. But, he didn’t enter alone. He entered with a girl. 

 Let me back track a little bit to fill you in on the ramifications of his having an escort had on me. I had met him in Sunday school, he was quiet, loved the Lord, & even shared some of the hobbies my dad & I had loved. He was faithful to come every Sunday while he was in college. In short, I developed a major crush on him. He reminded me of my wonderful righteous earthly father in some ways. It wasn’t like he pursued me or we dated or anything. Quite the contrary, but still I really thought this could be the one for me. Oh yeah, I had it bad. My crush lasted more than a year & still not much happened. He instant messaged me once & we were Facebook friends, but nothing really big (even though at the time I thought the one instant message conversation we shared was huge). Still I thought this could be he that I had been waiting for. Sheesh! Then school was over for the summer & he went to his home in another city. 

 So, I did what any crush-crazed girl would do that summer. I checked his Facebook regularly, “liked” some of his posts (not too many so it became obvious), prayed about the possibility of a relationship with him & for God’s will, & when it got closer to the fall I checked to see when his school would start, then I planned. Planned my outfit, thought about what I could say, prayed some more, etc. 

 Let’s get back to the entrance to end all hope. =) I had prayed for God’s will. In the very back-est back corner of my mind, during my fashion prep & all else, I think I let in a small space for disappointment. After all, I had prayed that if he wasn’t the one God had in store that it would not be. So, when he walked in, & I sat there in all my meticulously picked attire, & a girl followed close behind I could handle it & feel God holding my heart. I truly believe that at that moment – when I had to glue what felt like a ridiculous smile on my face (& keep it there for the next 40 or so minutes) – that God taught me something huge. It had taken over a year to “prepare” for the lesson, but the lesson itself was given in less than a minute. God was teaching me to fall more in love with Him (notice the capitalization). =) He was using this to show me that I had placed this mortal boy in such esteem & standing – that he had consumed my thoughts & actions - & taken away from His place. His love – my first & truest. It wasn’t an easy lesson, but it pierced straight to my heart the instant I saw my former crush’s companion. If only I had learned this lesson prior to all this. I wouldn’t have wasted so much of my time worried over such silly things as blouses, dresses, & sparkly shoes, & most importantly I wouldn’t have misplaced God on His throne… giving love that should have been His to another who didn’t care or even know, would never fill all the empty places in my heart, nor was worthy to in the first place. Now I know falling more in love with my Lord is what should be all consuming – my obsession. One that will never disappoint, fail, or walk through the door with another date on His arm. It took a “crush”ing experience to teach me this lesson. 

 “O, how I love Jesus, because He first loved me.”

Love God First,

-Bess-

Disappointments

2012 was a year of much disappointment & trial in my life.  Last year may be kaput as far as the calendar goes, but I still find myself struggling to get out of that pit that my disappointments created.  



This video featuring Michelle McKinney Hammond {Christian author, speaker, & single girl extraordinaire} has been a ray of hope & a reminder of God's sovereignty & faithfulness to me.  I hope it brightens your day, too.

Love,
-Bess-          

True Love Waits Stories {Rebecca St. James}

 Rebecca waited for God's perfect timing.  I'm sure at moments she wondered about His clock, & felt lonely & unchosen, & yes, spent Valentine's Days without a boyfriend to send her chocolates & roses.  But, she lived her 33 single years to the full... knowing life doesn't begin when you get a diamond ring on that special finger.  She waited & kept herself pure.  Now, she's married to her prince!  Her story is a beautiful melody about God's faithfulness; He cares & fully knows the desires of our hearts. 

Love {& LIFE} in the Waiting,

-Bess- 

Adventures in {Mini} Extreme Couponing

The other day I jokingly told a close friend, "I need to find a boyfriend just for economic reasons... someone to pay for all my meals & drive me everywhere."  Now, of course, I'd never ever {in a million years} "get" myself a boyfriend for financial reasons.  It's just hard sometimes when you open up another bill or see the gas prices sky rocket as soon as your tank is getting low {it's like Newton's Law that it will always happen so}.  God hasn't called us to worry about well, anything, but especially not His provision for us.  Say it with me, "He will provide!"  Just look at what His Word says:  

   "Once I was young, & now I am old. Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned or their children begging for bread."

-Psalm 37:25 NLT

This doesn't mean we just sit around & wait for the manna to fall.  Nope, we have to work & be smart with what He blesses us with {it's all His anyway - I wonder if that would help sometimes when we're about to make a not-so-wise impulse purchase, if we'd just think, "I can't squander God's money on a teal taffeta skirt that will just sit in my closet, now can I?"}.

Taffeta aside, this year I'm trying to do something new, bold, &/or brave each day.  On January 1st I did something new & created a coupon binder.  If you've read Bess' Bag {my main blog} then you probably know I'm pretty thrifty - make that, majorly thrifty.  It's just the way I am.  But, even though I'm frugal by default, I know I can be even smarter with my money if I try.  I don't know how many times I've let a coupon's expiration date slip past because I misplaced it or forgot.  So, I cut some scrapbook paper to size, added some stickers & decals, & created a coupon binder.   

I don't claim to be anything like those couponing ladies that can take a $150 buggy of groceries & come out with a receipt that reads $10 {but I wish I was} =); I'm just trying to corral my coupons in one place & organize them a bit {which I haven't finished yet - I need to create some tabs with headings like: groceries, bath/beauty, fast food, miscellaneous, etc.}.  

Here's some more money saving/couponing tips for us single girls:

-print coupons off the Web {Google coupon sites}

-many companies offer coupons/deals if you "like" their Facebook page

-the Dollar Tree just recently started accepting coupons, which could make for major savings {even freebies}

-if you eat a lot of frozen meals from a particular brand see if they have a rewards program where you can enter points & earn stuff {I participate in Stouffer's Dinner Club & Lean Cuisine's Delicious Rewards (I just earned a lunch box with Lean Cuisine)}

Love,

-Bess-

P.S.: Don't forget to give back to God: tithe. =)   

New Year's Eve for 1 Please

Special things can happen at midnight - think Cinderella at the ball when the clock struck 12... think New Year's Eve.  Yes, midnight can hold surprises.  As a single girl at this year's close, writing this in my fuzzy bathrobe with notepad on my knee, I know it can also be lonely, &, yes, even awkward, too.  Going to a party & watching everyone else smooch is a real crickets chirping, out of place, suddenly senselessly fascinated in a strange family portrait on the wall kind of experience.  Staying at home isn't always that much better, as you toss around ideas of just going to bed or waiting another minute to see if your fairy godmother shows up.  It doesn't have to be this way, though.  The King of the Universe - the great I Am before there was time - loves you & thinks you amazingly worth His all.  Rest in that & celebrate it.  I may be in a bathrobe now, but by 11:00 I'll be in my most fancy dress & ready to herald in the New Year singing praises to my Prince & Savior Jesus... solo in my apartment, yes, but joyful & never truly alone.  Even if your plans aren't what you'd like this year, celebrate Christ's love for you in your heart & then the whole 2013 through.  Even if your only kiss this New Year's is a Hershey's chocolate one, know you are loved by the best & truest love ever.

Happy 2013,

-Bess-

P.S.: I think this is going to be a great year!  Carpe diem!

"A Voice of Hope"

I hardly ever watch the 700 Club, but when I saw this promo, I made it a point to tune in!  I have so enjoyed their A Voice of Hope series.  They are now into their second season, which airs during the Wednesday episode each week.  This season touches on real issues of pain, forgiveness, & finding hope in Christ.  I encourage you to check out all the videos for yourself {click here} - you can view the entire first season & all of the second season that has aired so far.  May you find a "voice of hope" for your own single journey.

Love & Prayers,

-Bess-

P.S.: Watch the 700 Club tomorrow to see the next installment, or check it out on their website!

Dear Single Christmas Girl,

I first published this post on Bess' Bag back in 2010.  It remains one of my favorite writings I've done on purity, waiting, & singlehood.  

Click here to read it @ Bess' Bag!

Hope you enjoy & find some encouragement for the Christmas season!

Love,
-Bess- 

A Beautiful Love Story

Recently a friend shared a link to a post entitled, "Our Love Story" on another blog.  After visiting the blog, which happens to be that of the Wissman family {a Christian musical family band that travel around playing sweet music}, I fell in love myself with a story of truly waiting on God's best.  My friend & I thought you might enjoy it as much as we did.  I hope you do!

Click here to read!  

 Love in the Waiting, 
-Bess-

Being Thankful

Sometimes the things we don’t have {& desperately want} can blind us to the things we do have. Holidays can be trying on the single girl’s heart, what with seeing others paired up sharing special moments, & relatives from out of town with their ever burning questions about your relationship status {or lack thereof}. But as Thanksgiving swiftly approaches, there is much to be thankful for if we just look outside the sphere that holds what we want, but don’t have, & look into the larger sphere of what we do. “Count your many blessings, name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done,” reads the lines of a hymn. I pray this Thanksgiving you will do as the old song says & “count your blessings…name them one by one…” & remember just “what God has done” in your life. There are hidden blessings all around, dear girl, just look.  

With Thanksgiving, 
-Bess-

Stick Figure Philosophy

Picture it, you’re driving along singing with the radio – things are good - & then you end up at a lengthy red light right behind the minivan with the family stickers plastered on the back window categorized cutesy-style by height.  You know the kind I mean?  Husband, wife, kids, & even pets – the complete package.  It’s hard not to ponder your contentment & trust in God’s plan for your life with these stick people in plain sight, reiterating your single status with each little two-dimensional grin.  Nothing like a window cling to let you know you’re left out.  Have you ever seen a car with just one stick person on the back?  I haven’t.  But, it got me thinking…  

Even in our single years we are not alone if we are Christ’s.  We are part of a much bigger family!  Yes, even larger than those whose stickers reach the far right hand side of the glass.  We are members of the body – the family – of Christ!  The family of God! 

Do you know what I did next?  I set out to find the perfect addition to my car: a stick figure me & a stick figure Jesus.  After some Googling I found this site.  It lets you pick & choose your stick peoples’ bodies & heads, & after playing around a little I came up with this:

We may not have all the other stuff yet, but we have the most important part.  

"For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior." 

-Ephesians 5:23 NIV

"So in Christ we who are many form one body, & each member belongs to all the others."

-Romans 12:5 NIV

"Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God & co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory."

-Romans 8:17 NIV

Love & Encouragement for the Road Ahead,

-Bess-

P.S.: I was going to add a pun about window clings & clinging to Jesus, but decided against it.  You have much to be thankful for! =)

image created at www.familystickers.com