“[Not] Officially An Old Maid”

There’s an early episode of the Mary Tyler Moore show, where Mary’s best friend Rhoda exclaims, “When I turned 21 & still wasn’t married my mother officially declared me an old maid. I think she had it notarized.” Sure, we can laugh at the outlandishness of this line in a retro sitcom, but in reality there is truth to the fact that age & singleness carries with it a bitter stigma, whether it’s by the world, our families, or even just ourselves as we feel our inner clock’s loud ticking {& all but forget about God’s mysterious perfect timing, I might add}. The more candles on the cake, the more it can feel like your single status is the ailment without a cure. Now, 21 is certainly not an age that should be worried about its marital status, because if there’s any truth to Rhoda’s quip then I must really be an old maid/decrepit spinster girl {cause I’m well past 21}. 

 Recently, in my own life, I had a true blue moment of my own that made me feel rather {okay, a lot} old maidish… I attended the wedding of my nephew. Yes, it’s true we’re only 4 years apart, which is closer in age than to either of my sisters {his mother is more than 10 years my senior}. But still, he is my nephew. It seems like there should be an order to the universe that lets the maiden aunt walk down the aisle before her nephew, but you know what? It’s not been in God’s plan for this aunt, & I’m truly opening my heart to the truth that His will – which encompasses all that He sees & knows {which is everything} – really is in my best interest. I can let go of my sinful selfishness & trust that Christ is my loving, fully satisfying, first love & all knowing Father that’s got it under control. It’s been a process & I definitely had to banish {& take captive (2 Corinthians 10:5)} some self-pitying thoughts along the way, but I can truly say that I fully enjoyed the beautiful wedding celebration of my nephew & his bride.

 Me, an old maid? I think not! I’m a daughter & servant of the King; a part of the bride of Christ! 

Love, 
-Bess-

“Dating In Your Mind”

I stumbled upon the Revive Our Hearts website the other day & began to listen to past radio programs on singleness in particular.  It’s been a huge blessing to just lounge on my couch & listen to godly women speak Truth after a long day at work.  I encourage you to check out the site {click here} & join me in being uplifted…

The very first program I listened to online was “Do You Trust God to Satisfy?  Practical Counsel on Singleness” with Carolyn McCulley.  There’s much encouragement in the entire 24 minutes of the program, but about 14 minutes in Carolyn spoke about a new {to me} phrase, “dating in your mind.”  Click here & go about 14 minutes into the program to hear about it.  Then, come back & you’ll find my reaction below…     

I had not heard the term before, but the definition, well it was the spitting image of my life sooo many times.  Yep, I had been dating in my mind & I was convicted.  Who was I to think that I had it all figured out?  It sounds crazy now, but how did I think I knew that this random guy {in my case, guys, plural – you’d think I’d learn after awhile} was the one – God’s will for me – when the fellow had made no attempt to pursue, even?  I had definitely taken a running flailing leap before the Lord’s perfect timing.  It’s ridiculous looking back & hearing Carolyn McCulley’s afresh word on it, but I had been there again & again.  I’d dissect every glance, nod, word – was that a wink or hay fever!?  I’d look forward to Sundays for all the wrong reasons.  I’d misplaced my God on His throne, for a clueless mortal male.  I had taken the reigns, which remained tied to the hitching post, & tried to go for a ride.  I didn’t gain any distance & I had sinned in the process.  Major conviction was mine.  Have you ever gone “dating in your mind”?

Dear Father,

I confess that I have gone “dating in my mind” so many times.  I have gone ahead of You & let my own feelings & agenda be apart from Your will in my life.  Please forgive me of this sin & guard my heart & mind against it in the future.  I want to trust in You to satisfy & to provide all that I need.  Thank You for the grace You have showered upon me through Your Son, Jesus.  "Create in me a clean & pure heart & renew a steadfast spirit within me."  May Your will reign in my life.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Love,

-Bess-

image via reviveourhearts.com